The novelty has most definitely worn off.
Mental Ill-Health
This last week, the anxiety has given way to a bout of
depression. My brain is very numb and my heart is very low. I have cried a lot.
I’m not sleeping very well and I cannot motivate myself to anything that will
make me feel better. I cannot do the jigsaw as I cannot concentrate enough to
remember things. I have had bad thoughts in my brain and they still scare me
even though I know I won’t act on them. I phoned the doctors and they have
increased my medication dose to the maximum. I feel like a failure for falling back into it.
Homelife
Has been touch and go. I am getting very, very, very, very
fed up of always having to do the chores because I am home and David is not. It
is wearing me down.
We are still eating lots of healthy home cooked meals, and
lots of homemade salads.
^^^ This was a veg loaded sauce that David made. It had onion, leek, garlic, tomatoes, celery, pepper, mushroom, courgette, chopped tomatoes, and loads of fresh herbs from the garden (sage, mint, basil, thyme).
I started the next 1000 pieces jigsaw; it is an 1820 map of
the mineralogical deposits across England and Wales, and parts of Ireland and
Scotland. Very niche.
I only have ten squares or so left to do for my next blanket. I think I need to buy the rest of the yarn as I have run out of colours.
Garden
We have had the first couple of strawberries from the garden
this week; the blackbird has had the rest. There are still lots more to come as
I have bought about 20 new bareroot plants this year. The tomatoes are starting
to swell, I’ve picked the first courgette and the next three are coming, and
the peas are starting to swell.
The planters out the front are looking good, especially now that one has a huge clump of snapdragons in it. The rose is putting out loads of flowers. I am not deadheading it as I want to leave the hips for the birds. The rat problem of the back garden has now turned into an ants nest problem right by the front door – they are farming aphids on the roses.
I have managed to kill off one of my new houseplants, probably by over watering. It may be salvageable but right now it looks incredibly sad. It might recover but I’m not holding out much hope.
I have transplanted things that were mine at Mommas house, including a rose and a shrimp plant. We call it a shrimp plant because the flowers look like actual shrimps, but it apparently actually called a pink cigar plant. I split the clump into three and spread them around the garden – only one clump looks happy but I am going to wait a month or so, then cut them down so they can grow up again. Might work, might not.
The sunflowers are glorious and I am very excited to see them. The gladioli corms I planted should flower in September but I want to see them now.
The mini greenhouse from Momma is now housing the garlic
from the allotment so they can dry, and it also has the aubergine x14, and 4x
capsicum that were a freebie from the community tunnel on the allotment.
Allotment
The French beans I had sown had all been eaten as soon as
they emerged so I have started some seeds off at home and will just transplant
them when they are big enough. The tray got waterlogged in the downpours this
week so I have drained it off as best I can, and it is now in the mini
greenhouse at home to stop them getting soaked again. I don’t want to rot the
seeds!
I have met my new allotment neighbours, they have taken on two plots next to me. This means that five plots in a row are held by three people, as the couple the other side of me also have two plots. I briefly had two plots a number of years ago but it was far too much work, especially with the way the site floods every winter. The new people told me they want chickens, so I showed them the fox den at the top of the plots.
The doctor has prescribed 3 days a week minimum at the
allotment for me to try and get out of this bout of depression.
I am harvesting salad stuff every time I go, and I even
pulled a red onion this week. It was absolutely tiny – the size of a golf ball –
but we used it in a salad. I think the onion crop has been a failure this year
which is a shame.
The courgettes and things I was growing for work are now in beds on the allotment. I planted 5 courgettes and 2 butternut squash. I have also pruned the tomatoes to help air circulate around the plants.
I have been measuring up for timber so that I can build the rest of the raised beds. I have measured up for 11 new beds which will completely change the look and layout of the bottom part of the plot. I have also decided to put in new beds, including a couple in my new polytunnel that I still haven’t put up. So in total I will have 16 new beds. That’s a lot of timber. And dirt.
I pulled the garlics as I couldn’t wait any longer. It wasn’t
the greatest harvest but it’s my first proper one, ever, so I’m ok with that.
I might be going back to work part time soon which will be nice. It’ll give me a bit more structure to the day and I’ll hopefully feel like I’m doing something productive. We shan’t be doing practical things as there’s a lot of prep work to do before we can.
