A mixed bag, today.
Youngest step son (still weird saying that) is 20 today.
I have bawled my eyes out again and dribbled snot onto David.
I am exhausted. Beyond tired. Also struggling quite a lot with self worth,
general depression, body image, self hate & loathing. Ya know, the usual.
Garden news:
·
16 radish seedlings are up
·
No sign of the carrots or spring onions
·
Clump of crocus that I didn’t plant have started
to open
·
Planters out the front are really full, loads of
crocus are opening, the red deadnettle has been in flower for ages, and loads
of tulips are pushing up now
·
My hibiscus twig from poundland is coming into
bud already! But it is in the house, wrapped in a plastic bag, by the radiator
·
The first flower has appeared in the bulb
hanging basket. I do like these yellow stripy crocus
·
I potted up two redcurrant twigs in some
compost. I am hoping they will root and I will get new redcurrant bushes. Never
tried it before but if it works, I will take cuttings of the bushes at work too
Exerci….. nah.
Dinner: big roasty roasty. I have made THE BIGGEST
DudleyPuds today, and I think I might start a construction business whereby
people buy my DudleyPuds and use them to build walls.
I have written a list of simple things to do each day this
week which will hopefully help me to feel better, things like – having a bath (I
currently feel too guilty to indulge in a bath and am too stressed/anxious to
relax while in it, so I just won’t bother), washing my hair, reading a book. I know
I have been busy this week getting the socks done but it’s because I’ve been so
anxious and I’ve needed to keep my hands and brain quietly busy, and I don’t feel
guilty about doing crochet. But a bath, ohh nooo, far too indulgent.
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| Hibiscus twig |
