It’s always an interesting one, reading festive-time blog posts. I look back through them and all I read is I AM DEPRESSED LOOK ALL THE SIGNS ARE HERE IT’S CLASSIC DEPRESSION HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THIS BY NOW and I’m like, “oh! maybe I was depressed?”
So, we are now three days into the new year and I am still a
new year, new me wanker. Except it’s the same me, I am just going to work towards
having a healthier relationship with myself this year. I am going to do SOMETHING
physical everyday but not put pressure on myself to do everything, or make myself
(or allow other people to make me) feel guilty if I haven’t done something.
I have done some exercise every day so far, but I have also eaten
lots of chocolate. I am currently halfway through a box of After Eights. This year
I am also going to try and learn portion control and then practice it. Hahahahahahahahaha.
No seriously, I will try. At least once.
I am feeling better about myself and considerably more positive
than I was last week, so that’s something. I have been squatting, pushing
upping, planking (I cannot do side planks – that’s what I learnt today),
cycling on my exercise bike, hula hooping, and David and I have been for a
walk. Do something each day.
Today is the last day of my festive break from work. It was supposed
to be two weeks but I had just under three as I was ill for the last week of
term. I am not sure what to expect with work for the next few months but I am
keeping expectations low.
Our shower has been broken for a week now and there’s been
no news on spare parts yet so I need to chase that up this week.
I started reading a new book on new years day, by Susan Calman. I have nearly finished it – it is hard to put down because it’s like
reading my own brain, my own mental ill-health, my own knowledge of depression.
It’s SO GOOD to read something that 100% sums up exactly what it can be like. I
thoroughly suggest you read it. It’s also got lots of good stuff for what to
say/do if someone tells you they are depressed.
I have finished another strip of bunting so I’ve got two
pieces now. I need more coloured jute to make more pennants before I do the
next lot. I am desperately awaiting two yarn orders to get cracking with more
blankets. I have fidgety hands at the moment and I want to channel that nervous
energy into something handmade and cosy.
I have also started making this years cabbage cage on the
allotment but I need more wood and more mesh. At home, I have put up the bird
bath from santa and I have three more brackets to put up for the hanging baskets.
They are being moved from the bird feeder (the weight of the baskets is pulling
it over) and onto the fence instead.
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| The blanket in the background is my 'anxiety blanket'. I made it when I was signed off work for a month in a previous job but I went on holiday instead and spent a week on a sofa watching dolphins and submarines, napping, and making a blanket. Read about it here. |
