This year I have decided to write monthly summary blogs throughout the year, so that I can look back and see how much I’ve done with my time and life. I don’t do new years resolutions and I don’t have life or career goals, but I do like to know that I’m gradually moving in a direction that is good for me (not necessarily “forward”).
January has been about eight years long and bleak and I’m
not entirely sure that the rest of the year is going to pick up.
The festive period wasn’t great for us and was in fact, a
new low. I allowed myself to have a slow and restful January to focus my mind
and thoughts, and to really think about what I want to do and achieve this
year.
Crochet
I have had a creative month, with lots of yarn and wool flying off my hooks. I made a list of all the things I want to make this year, and I stopped at 30 but in all likelihood I could’ve carried on to 40.
In January
I made or finished:
·
1 mandala
·
1 dragon scale cowl
·
2 sets of 6 cleaning cloths
·
Darned one jumper hole
·
Darned Davids socks
·
2 WMSAR hats
·
1 pair of house socks
·
1 hat for a colleague
·
1 hat for the cat
·
1 doll
·
1 pair of gloves
I also held the second Quatt Craft Group session and we had
around 16 people turn up, so that’s really good. I’m really pleased with how it’s
going.
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| Hand balling hanks of cotton by the fire like in the olden days |
Allotment
I haven’t been to the allotment much, but I never do in
January. It’s too wet to do anything and I can’t afford compost, so I only went
up a couple of times to check things were ok and to feed the birds. I did spend
some time in waders in my pond. The polytunnel isn't in a fit state to grow anything and I never start seeds until mid-March at the earliest.
Exercise
In keeping with the gentle January theme, I haven’t done much. I’ve been going for more walks at work, sometimes twice a day. Only a couple of miles but it’s better than nowt.
Work
Work was slow to start with but I like to ease myself back into things. I have been getting things prepped ready for project closedown, and my course was cancelled as we had no one sign up to come on it. Which I’m sort’ve glad about because it removed a headache, but also sad about but I like running the courses. Changing jobs to go down to four days a week was a Good Idea.
Mental Health
Has taken a dive. But it always dips at this time of year. Normal
depression combined with seasonal depression combined with being skint
depression combined with shitty festive holiday depression. November to February are
just shit months. And I’ve not slept well really, with one thing or another.
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| One of the reasons why I've not been sleeping well |
Cat Life
He so cute. He so fluffy. He so noisy at 2am! I need to be
more strict with keeping him downstairs at night but I feel so guilty and I’ve
seen the way he howls and paws at the door when D goes up to bed first. He has
been to the vets for his jabs and we have discovered that he has a slight heart
murmur. He’s now also microchipped to me so HE’S MINE.
Physical Health
I had my annual smear test because I am abnormal, and in
February I will be spending an afternoon at the hospital with my feet up in
stirrups, so that’s great. I don’t feel so anxious this time (when I went a
couple of years ago I was told before christmas, and then spent the festive break
convinced I was going to be diagnosed with cervical cancer – not a nice way to
spend the holiday). This time, I am more relaxed as I know the chances are super
slim to zero and apparently this is just how my life is now. Bet I still don’t qualify
to have it all ripped out though. Don’t need a baby house if I ain’t gonna make
babies.
Money
So poor. Also so poo which is what I just typed because I am
tired and my brain isn’t working properly. The washing machine died at the start
of January and has just cost £450 to get a new one. A full wash and dry cycle
on the new machine takes 11 HOURS and 30mins. So I shan’t be doing a full wash
and dry cycle.
Money stuff is just UTTERLY depressing now. I took a new job
with a higher salary and apparently have less money than ever. The cost of the
food shop has gone up so I’m buying less which is giving me food anxiety. I always
used to stockpile so that I knew I had healthy food in for when I had a bad
brain time, but now I can’t afford to do that. I try to bulk cook each month
and freeze stuff, but we only have a small freezer and can’t afford to run a
second.
Part of me wants to learn pressure canning so that I can preserve
stuff, but I have nowhere to store the jars once I’ve done that. And I can’t
afford the pressure canner.
I basically live my life with three weeks of the month with
no money at all and I hate it.
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| I had to drive up to the road and flag the delivery guys down |
Garden
We flooded in January, only up to 4.75m so 40cm below the
high from last February. The garden is still full of debris because it froze
and we haven’t been arsed to rake it up yet. The snowdrops are growing through
the debris now so I don’t want to disturb them.
Lots of bulbs are coming up which are filling me with joy of
things to come. I also planted up the planters that santa got me with lots more
bulbs, and they’re by the front door. The garden is starting to wake up and I am
starting to make plans for it.
We had half a tree come down in the winds which has now been
chopped up for firewood for next winter. I am making dead hedges out of the
brash. I need to do more. There’s a lot of brash. The stuff we cut from laying
the garden hedge in 2021 was left as a wildlife habitat heap but the tree came
down on top of it, so by clearing the tree, we’ve cleared all the old brash,
which has extended the garden by about 6metres and given me more space to grow
pumpkins this year.
We did the annual Lickey Hills Wassail and it was an evening
of pure stupidness. I was interviewed for radio and then spent two hours of my
life that I’ll never get back listening to quite possibly the worst radio show I’ve
ever heard just so I could record all the interviews.
So that’s the January summary and it’s bladdy depressing all
round. I hope the next couple of months will be better because I am really
struggling to find reasons to carry on doing stuff at the moment.
