All change!
Mental Ill Health
My medication isn’t affecting me how it did last time my
dose was increased and I’m not sure why, and if that’s a good thing or not. My
brain is still overwhelmingly sad, but I am so far managing to suppress it and
get things done. If I stop, it takes over. My tinnitus is mega bad, especially
at bed time. The imposter syndrome is strong, I feel like a fraud, and I feel
like a failure. Every time I am doing well and making good progress it all
comes crashing down again, and it’s hard to accept that it isn’t me, it’s
external things making me ill.
Work
I have had the phonecall! I am going back to work on July 1st.
Only part time, 18hrs a week, but after 12 weeks of furlough and 14 weeks of
not working, I am looking forward to it. I will be working from home, catching
up on admin and e learning, doing Covid risk assessments, and doing wellbeing
stuff for the volunteers. After a couple of weeks I will be venturing out to
sites to check them, gather gloves to bring home and wash, and to clean tools
etc and disinfect handles, the office etc. We won’t be having practical
sessions until September at the earliest but I have a lot to be getting on with
before then. I will be part time furloughed, and then maybe back at work full
time in August but we’re not sure about that yet.
Allotment
The doctor has prescribed allotment three times a week and
so I have. It has been far too hot for me this second half of the week. I spent
time on Monday working on Mommas plot, stripping back turf so that she can make
a pumpkin patch. Tuesday was spent shifting the compost from her plot to mine –
three trips in the car vs 15 or so with the barrow! What a good car. On
Wednesday I did a brief jaunt to sow more parsnip seed, and I noticed that the
loofah is starting to flower!
I have been suffering quite badly with blackfly this year on the loofah and the nasturtium aren’t yet big enough to be sacrificial plants. I was checking on the loofah and noticed that all the blackfly had gone, but I did also see one massive ladybird larvae looking very pleased with itself!
The sweetcorn are loving the hot weather and have shot up.
One of the plants was a lot smaller and weaker than the rest and I thought it
was going to die, but it has caught up with the others.
Lots of baby yellow courgettes are coming – I suspect I will have a glut of these in a few weeks time (there’s a surprise).
The sweet peas have also suddenly decided to grow. I was
quite disappointed in these as they weren’t getting very tall at all but
they’ve also had a growth spurt and are putting out lots of flower buds, so I'm happier with them now.
The potatoes are getting super tall and are starting to
flower. I do love potato flowers; they come in so many colours.
I have also sowed a load of flower seed in the raised planting area that David built into my new compost bins. It is a narrow strip but filled with peat free compost. Last year it had nasturtium, rosemary, lavender, and mesembryanthemum. All of it died. This year it has heartsease, red & white clover, nasturtium, cowslip, and dwarf foxglove.
I have harvested the first carrots this week! I sowed these
at the start of lockdown as part of a panic seed sowing spree. Growing carrots is very satisfying - the seeds are tiny but what you harvest is huge in comparison! Always a good feeling pulling out a good solid carrot.
Garden
It has been far too hot to do much. I have had to buy some slip on shoes to wear in the garden as the paving slabs get too hot for my feeties. I do like bare foot gardening but I don't want burnt feet! The borage has started
flowering, as have the French marigolds in the fence hangers. All of the things
that I started from seed are starting to come to life and I am enjoying finding
new flowers every day.
The peas are so tall now that I’ve had to start training them across the fence instead of up! I have picked the first pea and scoffed it – it was yummy yummy.
I found this photo of the garden back in March before we did anything and I can’t believe the difference – even though it was us who’ve made it all. I am building up ideas of what I want for next year too. I am going to get some small trees and put them in pots – I want holly and buckthorn alder for the butterflies.
We haven’t had any more visitations from the ratty boy. I am
thinking about getting another bird feeding pole for putting more hanging
baskets up. I have ordered a load of new fresh herb plants including an orange thyme, so I want herby hanging baskets. I am thinking of digging out the lobelia and putting them around the outside of the baskets. Need to wait until next payday now though...
Some of the sunflowers are nearly as tall as the fence panels
now so I have put in a couple of 8ft canes for them to be tied to. I think
these are the Pikes Peak variety which means they might get up to 4m tall!!
Homelife
I had a little post-bath visitor under my bed as I was
sitting in my towel. I presume it flew in through the open window but the first
I heard was a massive thunk as it fell to the ground. It was about an inch
long! I trapped it in a cup and slid some paper under it to release it back out
the window. It was a huge grass hopper!!
David has finally admitted defeat and swapped the mattresses back. He had bought a super expensive, super huge, super hard mattress when we moved in and it’s been a sore point ever since. It is magic for him and his back but it has been absolute hell for me. I’ve not been sleeping well since we had it and as it is SO thick (11 inches deep!!) I had been having nightmares about falling out of bed. I kept waking up right on the edge and jumping backwards with shock. So we changed the mattresses and we are now back on the original memory foam one, and it is HEAVEN. For me, anyway. I have slept so much better for the last few nights, I can actually get comfortable, and I’ve not been having nightmares. David however hates it as it is too soft, so we have decided to invest in a more expensive memory foam one. The downside is we are used to being high off the floor so getting out of bed is now harder…
I haven’t done any more of my jigsaw. I just can’t face it.
It is still on the living room floor, half done.
I only have eight squares left on the blanket. I am working my way through my pile of green yarns as I need more green on the blanket. I have enough for maybe four squares, so the last four still need to be sorted.
I have also started a fluffy soft winter baby blanket for my cousin who had a baby girl this week.
We’ve had our first chippy tea this week! It was well good. Really nice fish, and super nice chips. I’m not usually one for chippy chips as I prefer thin fries, but these were gert lush.
Next week we will be sorting out the second bedroom to turn it into an office space for me. Work have authorised me to buy a desk and stick it on expenses so I have somewhere better to work.
