Ok, maybe I sort of did. Only sort of, though. I am not good
at relaxing or resting, and I am not good at having nothing to do.
For the first time ever, I have made my twitter feed private
and I have actually hardly used it in the past week. I am trying not to use
social media at the weekends but I’m not doing very well at this! It sucks so
much of my life away into that tiny little screen and I really don’t know why I
keep going back to it.
I have unliked, unfollowed and un-grouped myself on facebook
as much as possible, for the time being. My feed is very bare and is mostly
posts from the same three pages. I hardly see anything from real life people
anymore, which is both good and bad. I am not up to date, but do I want to be? Social media to me is actually very unsocial, and I think that’s what I struggle
with the most. At the ripe old age of 31 and a bit, I feel incredibly lonely sometimes.
This weekend, I have not played Sims 3 at all! I have wanted
to play it for ages and ages and I signed up to Steam to download it again, and
I am bored of it already. I only downloaded the base game so haven’t got any of
the extras, but I am excited (still) by my super new laptop that actually
works. Maybe if I had a slow laptop I wouldn’t be playing it so much.
I did something to my knee which I suspect was actually done
last week when I was in the process of shovelling up pebbles by hand, but I twinged
it again on Friday night and had it strapped on Saturday. I am using this as
justification for not doing any squats. Again. I still haven’t been to pilates –
next month, eh. I am having a few very busy, practical, physical days at work
so really don’t feel the need to pay for exercise at the moment!
I have picked up my crochet hook for the first time in what
feels like AGES. I made a small butterfly, and I’m not very keen on it. One of
my February aims is to complete an outstanding project but I have lost my
crojo. I just have no desire to do anything.
I did buy a block of air dry clay from Hobbycraft, and I have
started making things with it. These are destined to become drinks coasters,
but I think I may have made them too thin. I hadn’t sorted out my clay tools box
so I literally just squidged the clay with my hand into a sort of circular shape,
wet my fingers with a drop of water, and smoothed the surface. They are now
drying on some paper for a few days, and then I am going to invest in some porcelain
pens to decorate them with.
Santa got me a flower press so I have been picking a select few things from the garden to squidge. I now have three squidgings in process and have decided to make a pressed-flower display thingy in a posh photo frame. I just need to buy the posh photo frame.
I haven’t read in ages, I haven’t done polymer clay work, I haven’t
written a blog, I haven’t been to the allotment, and I haven’t really missed
any of it either? I also feel like I haven’t filled my time with useful things
either.
A few weeks ago, David and I collected my new bike and we
went for a bike ride – my first time on a bike for nearly 20 years. It was
terrifying and fun, and made my lady bits hurt. I need a bigger butt to give me
more padding. David said I need a different saddle. Maybe I should start doing
more squats.
My insides, by which I mean, my brain, is a bit all over the
place at the moment. There is lots of change on the horizon both at home and at
work and I am struggling to keep an even keel. I have slipped back into my old
habit of not showering regularly, and it bothers me – but not enough to change.
Once a week is fine, right? Wrongo. I have a practical, physical job and
sometimes I come home from work literally caked in mud, sweat, and sometimes
blood (my own).
Things are bubbling away under the surface and I am scared
that they are going to manifest in horrible ways. I’m not really sure what to
do about a lot of them and I’m not sure how to vocalise them. Lots of things in
my brain are connected to my past, ready to come out in a not-pleasant way, but
also are not ready to be unleashed from my noggin.
Ah, I dunno.
This week I am going to read more, change a few things, and
hopefully get up to the allotment. I hope the daffodils are out in flower –
they always make me smile.
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| I pick up this magazine when I'm out and about and purposely take a lot of time to flick through it and read what interests me at that time. It takes more than week to read the whole thing. I might get a subscription for it. |
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| I like having hot chocolates with all the trimmings in Davids posh cup, as it means my posh cup stays free for tea. |
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| I bought the teeniest terracotta plant pots the other day, because they are CUTE. Expensive too, 99p each!! But I am planning a new craft project for which I want tiny plant pots. |
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| Here is Her Majesty the Floof, a few days before we had to chase her, pin her down, and wipe her manky arse to release it from the matted shit that decorated her derriere. Such a lady. |
