This year I’ve been thinking about what I can do to boost my
practical skills and thus enhance my CV, in search for that fabled thing; the
full time permanent conservation role. I decided that the best thing for me to
do this year is gain my full car + trailer entitlement for my driving licence,
so I started looking at lessons and the test. I booked in some sessions for
while I am unemployed.
This week I have had my lessons and a test. I have been such
an anxious wreck. I have stressed myself out SO much, and I don’t know why. I have
driven with a trailer and a water bowser trailer before, I have had brief
trailer lessons for work duties, so I know I can drive, I know I can reverse, I
know I can manoeuvre; I know I can do it.
This week I have been a stressed mess. On the morning of my
test I was sick, and after I had a practice run I then proceeded to burst into
tears in front of the test centre manager. I hate my brain and I hate that I let
it run (ruin) my life so much.
I failed my test.
So although I am not surprised at failing (my brain is all
over the place at the moment), I am annoyed and frustrated with myself. I am
not good at failing. I am trying to justify it – I don’t have much road
experience with a trailer (true), or I’ve never done it before (half true) – so
I am bummed out. It has cost me over £700 for lessons, and is now going to cost
another £300 for another test.
Why is attempting to better yourself so expensive?! So with
the new year comes a new job, with hopefully a bit of spare income (what!), so I
can save up and get some practice in the meantime, and try again next year.
Onwards and upwards.
Maybe.
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| I saw these bulbs pushing through when I had a driving break on a lesson. Spring is coming! |
